The Universe: "HAHAHAHA, Yeah you think that."
Okay, so you know what? Screw it. I will update when I update when I can, because babies are very, very time consuming. And that isn't even taking into consideration the fact that I'm in the process of moving from one state to another and have experienced an earthquake and a hurricane in the last week. HAHAHAHA, Universe, I see you thur, having fun at my expense!
Soooo. The Super Dictionary. If you've been on the internet for any decent length of time, and reading up on comics, or are an old scans_daily alum, you've definitely heard of it. It's arguably one of the most spectacularly cracktastic things that DC Comics has ever put their official stamp of approval on.
Published in the 1970s's, it's an educational tool for children--I'd guess somewhere between the ages of six and ten--that uses well known superheroes to define words. Only a handful of scans exist online, but there are enough that the book is pretty infamous.
The love of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee, about_faces, A.K.A. thehefner, decided to sink a substantial amount of effort into locating a copy of the book for our newborn son Hal Tiberius so that he too could grow up learning about the horrors of Lex Luthor's cake stealing habit. Of course, there being many, many Catwoman related entries, I couldn't very well deprive you all! :D
Be forewarned: The scans are REALLY LARGE, and of decent quality, but some are a little lopsided, thanks to the rather slippy, slidey forty year old hardcover. I've only included the entries with illustrations, but there are several more text-only entries that mention our girl, Selina.
I also had a hard time deciding whether to post these all at once, or one by one. while it'd be fun to post each of these one at a time, I have no way of knowing when I'll be able to actually crack my laptop open again. Besides that, the Super Dictionary has a strange kind of narrative, which is really better served by seeing all the entries in one chunk. The Super Dictionary has actual read-between-the-lines continuity!
For example, apparently, Black Canary and Green Arrow were off having hot sex while Green Lantern was in serious trouble. You may think I'm kidding, but it's pretty clear from a handful of the entries just what was going on. I know I've been corrupted by the internet and all, but Lantern's in trouble and Canary and Arrow are just lying on the grass behind a hedge within earshot. Come on now.
(There's also an entry or two in which the Penguin pretty much propositions Robin. SUBTEXT IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.)
What kind of continuity/subtext does Catwoman get? Well, let's have a look!
Fun fact that comics writers, animators and cartoonists don't seem to know: Cats are lactose intolerant.
Dirty Bat! Dirty, dirty, dirty!
Are you going on a road trip, girls?
Did I neglect to mention that much of the Super Dictionary is rather thick with Femme Slashy subtext? This may be the most blatant example, though Wonder Woman and Hippolyta are a close second...
...okay, I give: why are you selling a window, Catwoman?
Ah, the first instance of the dysfunctional Bat/Cat relationship, as seen through the eyes of the Super Dictionary. That's going to come up again...
And...again. I swear I didn't put these in this order, it's how they actually appear in the book.
Another bit of internal contiunity: Catwoman works in a circus and bosses Penguin about a lot.
Gosh, Batman, you sure are a free spirit.
...so apparently, when they're not trying to kill each other, the super heroes and super villains all get together for a nice, friendly game of football. Wherein the ball is not made of explosives. Or pie. Or explosive pie. Huh. I find this somewhat suspect.
That's the cat from The Laughing Fish storyline. Scroll back up to the entry for the word dock. Still think Catwoman knows the best places to fish?
So, readers, what manner of madcap adventures can you come up with, based on these entries? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?